my mom
Happy Thanksgiving, you lovely ones out there!
My mother is 81 years old and lives in a lovely extended care community. Her physical ability is failing her, but her mind is razor sharp.
Two years ago, my mother separated from the social network of her friends in Vancouver and she moved to live close to me in Penticton. She is missing her friends, but in return she has my daily support and companionship.
Many of us have had the experience of a loved one living at extended care. It’s a complex journey. We face the loneliness of elderly people and the challenges faced by the caregivers. It’s a journey of love but, at the same time, a very exhausting experience: many visits to the doctors… endless calls and meetings with nurses, physiotherapists, pharmacists… taking care of the finances… and, above all, visiting our loved ones.
Many times, I leave the daily visit with my mother with a sad heart. She is bored and wants me to stay and chat, but I also must keep up with my other responsibilities.
These feelings remind me of the nights when I used to tuck my beautiful little girls in bed. They always wanted me to sing them one more lullaby… read them one more story… stay for just a few more minutes.
My mother always thinks of another question to ask, just when I’m leaving. She asks me to remove her cardigan – it’s too hot. She reminds me to pick up some Persian cucumbers from the market for her.
I love my mother!
My daughters and my friends have helped me by joining me on my daily visits to my mother. When they accompany me, my mom and I both feel happier. When friends and family visit, there are more things to talk about… more laughter… and we don’t feel the same heavy feeling when it’s time to leave.
It’s Thanksgiving and there are many blessings for which we are grateful. Think of your elderly friends, grandparents, and the parents of your friends who are living at extended care. Go visit them… give them a hug… share a story about your life so they feel connected with your world.